If your spouse cheated on you, would you want a confession?

June 7, 2014

 

Our readers

Many marriages have suffered due to extra-marital affairs either by the husband or the wife. This has led to divorce and unresolved differences in many homes. However, some people may be willing to confess to their spouses if they had an extra-marital affair, i asked some people whether they would want such a confession or not

I would rather want her confess to God

Walliyyullah Adigun

If it were by mistake, there is nothing else I would do than to desire a confession. But on a strict note, her confession would not heal the wound she has inflicted on me. Rather, it would add to my injury. And on a religious ground, her confession amounts to nothing if she does not confess to God and repent. In short, I prefer her confession to God and a change of heart. But if she cheated on me intentionally and I do not have peace of mind with her, I would not even need a confession from her. She would need to find her way out of my life.

Her confession would add to my pain

Alamu Adebisi

I would naturally desire a confession, but on the other hand, whether she confesses or not, I would not kill myself over the issue. I believe the most important thing for her to do is genuine repentance. By the way, it would be better for me if I were unaware of her infidelity than to know about it. Her confession to me would even add to my pain. She should just confess to God and pretend to me as if nothing ever happened. If I knew she did it, I may not be able to trust her again. In fact, I do not need her confession.

I do not need her confession

Chukwu Emeka

The entirety of the truth of life remains that if you are stressed, you will get pimples; if you cry, you will get wrinkles; so why not be happy, smile and get dimples? What this means is to keep your confession to yourself and your God. I do not care over such matters. All I want is for her to repent in her privacy and let us continue to enjoy life together. Her confession might hurt me so much that I may not even be able to forgive her and forget about the incident. So, it is better I do not even hear about it at all. If she found it right to cheat on me in secret, she should also find it right to repent in secret.

It would be stupid of her to confess

Salahudeen Opeyemi

Her confession to me would perhaps be the most stupid thing she could do after such an act. Of course, I would accept it and probably forgive her, and move on with my life. But come to think of it, why getting into such an affair in the first place? That is betrayal. But wait a minute, let’s not pretend like we’re all angels here. Having an extra-marital affair could happen to anyone, even between best friends. It could be prevented, though. But if I find myself crumpled in someone else’s sheet, I would not hate myself for it. If it happened to my spouse too, I would not kill her too over it.

I would appreciate her for the ‘kind gesture’

Ola Matthew

Hmmm! If she could even be bold to come out and confess her atrocity to me, it really shows I married a woman of integrity and strength, who never cares what could happen to her by her confession. I tell you something, I would appreciate her and forgive her for the ‘kind gesture’ she has bestowed on me. Please know that there is nothing done that is hidden under the earth. So, it is better for her to confess before she is exposed. However, her confession will not be complete if she does not repent. The beauty of any confession is true repentance. Confession is meaningless without true repentance. Therefore, she should complement her confession by never doing it again because that is the only way I would ever trust her again.

I would want to know why he cheated on me

Oyebiyi Adesewa

No woman would want her husband to cheat on her. But if he cheated on me, I would like to know the reason why he did so. Knowing his motive would bring me more relief than just knowing he did it. If there was something that enticed him to the other woman, then I should be able to do such a thing too so that he would not indulge in it again. So, I would not just want his confession, I would like to know the reason why he did it.

He should keep it to himself

Blessing Peters

Every man cheats, so, whether he comes or not, I may not see him as totally clean. Therefore, I don’t want his confession because I don’t want to know he does such things. However, his willingness to confess could mean a symbol of love but his escapade will not make me happy, so he should keep it to himself. If he starts telling me without a prior knowledge of what he wants to say, and I’m not in a good mood, he would get me angry and I would react, because ordinarily, I’m not interested in such revelation. But if I’m in a good mood, and he asks for forgiveness, I will forgive him. After realising his mistake, if he goes back into it, then it means he takes me for granted, which is a minus for him.

He should tell me

Sandra Eze

I would like to hear it from my husband that he slept with another woman after he married me. If he tells me, I will forgive him and let the issue pass. I would assume that he realised his mistake and decided to confess, but if I find out by myself from other persons or sources, I will show the girl hell and make my husband realise that what he did was wrong. I cannot fight my husband, so she would be the receiver of my anger. Ordinarily, I know my husband won’t chase girls, so I would assume that the girl lured him into it, and I will fight her seriously for that. However, I wish it never happens because infidelity is not a pleasant experience in marriage.

It is better he tells me before I find out

Chidinma Ukoji

If the relationship is strong, reliable and based on trust, I would expect him to share everything that happened with me. If he does that, I will forgive him, we will pray together so that it won’t happen again and I will even counsel him because something avoidable would have led to it. On the other hand, if he does not tell me, I will still find out on my own, which is more terrible and not too good for him. If he tells me before I find out, he would have my understanding, but if I find out myself, then he has betrayed the trust I have in him. In his own interest, he should tell me.

It is terrible to hear it from outside

Olawole Kikelomo

I expect him to tell me so that we could handle it as a family. I can even pray with him so we could overcome it together. There should be trust, so if he has betrayed that trust by virtue of his action, he should just say it. It is better he tells me everything that happened before someone else does, so that even if I hear it from outside, it won’t be a breaking news. Eventually, I would know, so, he should be truthful enough to let me know. Above all, I would like to know if what I give him at home is not good enough because I would want to understand why he chose to sleep with another woman outside.